He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
