I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
