i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
