In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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