Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Soap is not a condiment
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
