I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
