you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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