I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Randomize
