I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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