We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
