well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
