After last night, I could never be a politician.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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