Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
