There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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