I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
