Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My dick has a subreddit
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
