he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
