Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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