sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
