toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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