And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
