Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
