Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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