my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
whose parrot is this?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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