I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
