my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she peed on how many people?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
