If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
