$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
this boner is exhausting
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
