i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
