ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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