now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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