No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
