question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize