i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
