if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
