who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
