Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
