their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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