I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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