So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
