Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
now i know why i became what i already was.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
