i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
