Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
my being single is dangerous.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
