Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize