it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
