well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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