I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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