Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
