You made me cry and you don't even care
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
