The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
