yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
These tits shall not be calmed
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
