the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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