worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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