OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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