Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
